The Pirate and the Dark One
by Child of Mars
Summary: Sometimes you hate someone more than you can bear. Sometimes that hatred clouds your entire life, like a red-hot fog of violence and pain. But sometimes, the white light of reason stabs through and you get a glimpse of the other side. The hatred is released. You're left feeling empty and tired...but also strangely whole. Hook and Rumplestiltskin in Neverland.


_**Author's Notes: Ach, this little mess was born before I'd actually seen season 3 and realized what Neverland would be like. I hadn't thought of Rumplestiltskin getting his power back completely, so all that you see below is pretty much outdated material, except for my theory on why Pan wants Henry and also that Rumple has a little bit of magic. Anyway, I'm not sure where this came from. The usual thing where my stuff is concerned. But there are so many things I wanted the pirate and the Dark One to say to each other...so much they have in common that they'll never really know.**_

**_ALSO: I don't own the lovely image above. I just mangled it to suit my twisted needs._**

* * *

**The Pirate and the Dark One**

Setting all the emotional baggage and mortal danger aside, Neverland, or at least the part they were traveling through, was a botanical nightmare. Thick, creeping tendrils wrapped around their booted ankles, pulling at them like living things whenever they tried to take a step forward. Big palm fronds were continually slapping in their faces with muffled cracks, or snapping under their weight as they swayed from side to side, trying to find the best path through the undergrowth to wedge their bodies into. Tempers were high.

Hook was in the lead, slashing at vines with his hook, squinting as green, sappy juices sprinkled his face. He'd been here before, but with an entire crew of men ready to die for him, armed to the teeth and desperate for their lives. They'd just had to fight Indians and mermaids after he'd made his peace with Peter Pan. They'd never had to forge a secret way through his woods, trying to sneak up on him or some of his forces, using a surprising first encounter to get information about Henry.

"How…much _farther_ do we have to…?" Regina called from somewhere behind him. From her tone of voice, he imagined she'd just ripped something. Ladies hated that…usually.

"I'm not sure, really…I suggest we make camp at the next clearing, if the lost boys aren't there first," he pushed his body through a scrub bush. There was a squeak as his leather coat rubbed over the prickly thorns.

"Then maybe we shouldn't camp in the clearings." Emma was right behind him…a fact he was acutely aware of.

He glanced over his shoulder at the blonde, tough, determined looking woman and smiled. "Good thinking, love."

"Hey!" David barked. Hook rolled his eyes and obediently turned back to the mass of bushes and palms that still clung together in front of him, resisting his hook. He swung forward and felt a painful vibration run through his arm as his hook embedded into a thick, rotten stump. He hadn't even seen it through the green curtain.

He tugged. Nothing. Emma stopped behind him, peering over his shoulder before swinging back with a sigh. "Really?"

Embarrassed. Hook planted his boot onto the stump, grabbed his wrist with the other hand and, wriggling it a little, pulled _hard_.

It gave way. All the force in Hook's legs propelled him backwards, half stumbling, half falling. With a cry, he dove off the path and into the bushes with a wet, creaking crunch. Emma covered her eyes, trying not to laugh.

The train halted as Hook scrambled up again. Laughter lines crinkled around their eyes, unwilling smiles pulling at their faces. But Hook put an end to their amusement when he lifted up his good hand and announced shortly, "I've been poisoned."

"What?" Emma grabbed his hand to look. It was dusted in a red, ruddy powder. Hook jerked away. "Careful. You really don't want a taste of this stuff."

"Fatal?" Snow struggled up beside them, staring at his hand like it was an injured puppy or kitten. Perhaps the first real concern anyone besides Swan had shown him this whole expedition.

Too peeved to be grateful, Hook swiped his hand off on a rag he yanked out of his belt. "Oh, fine. Perfectly harmless, actually. I've encountered this plant often enough but always been vanquished by it. Bloody difficult when you're being chased by Indians. You see, this particular lovely happens to paralyz….phef…phmph…."

With a crash, he slumped to the ground, his lips still open and pressed against the moist earth. He was completely conscious, could hear and see and, unfortunately, smell just fine. Which was why he fervently prayed someone would lift him up…_now_.

Hands did. Emma and Snow bent over together and lifted him with plenty of exhausted grunts and complaints. Finally, as David took over, they propped him against a tree. They kept glancing curiously at him. Hook wondered if he had anything stuck to his face.

Regina and Rumple came up last. Miffed at not being allowed to use their powers to burn a way through the jungle, they insisted on bringing up the rear, when the trail would be widened and cleared by Hook and the Charmings. When he saw the pirate's condition, Rumplestiltskin smiled.

Hook's lip vaguely pulled up in what he hoped was a defiant sneer and not a bizarre contortion.

"Ok. There goes our guide," David said, gesturing towards Hook. "And there goes our chance of surprise."

"Unless we move without him," Emma said grimly. Hook admired Emma's pluck, but at the moment it made his stomach sink to his boots. "He said it himself, he doesn't know where we're going. We just have to find some Lost Boys."

"And then what?" Snow touched Emma's hand.

Emma glared stonily at her mother. "Make them talk."

"Well then, let's go," Regina snarled, sensing the possessive tension in Emma's voice, "Henry's waiting."

"But wait…what about Hook?" Snow stopped them, "You can't just leave him alone like this…helpless."

Rumplestiltskin spoke for the first time, sarcastically. "Why not?"

One hand on his hip, David glanced at everyone's faces a moment, from Regina's hot, breathless look to Rumplestiltskin's dangerously glimmering eyes. "Fine," he said at last, "Rumplestiltskin and Regina will stay with him."

"What?!" Regina cried, anger sparking in her brown eyes. Rumplestiltskin leaned towards David threateningly, his teeth showing like fangs as he sneered, "And just what, exactly, makes you think we're gonna do that?"

David held his ground, looking the Dark One right in the eyes. "The way I see it, we are gonna need you two for the heavy fighting, if we have to actually fight…"

"What do you mean, 'if'?!" Rumplestiltskin interrupted him sharply.

David turned to Emma, appealing to the ready store of sanity she possessed, that perfect blend of reason and reality that made her the unspoken leader of the party. "Right now, we're just _talking_." Snow stroked Emma's arm. Everyone knew she wanted to move hell and high water to get back to her son. "If these two start throwing fireballs, all the Lost Boys will fly away and we'll never hear from them again."

"They can't fly," Rumplestiltskin snapped, "only those gifted by the fairies' magic can."

"Whatever," David didn't look away from Emma, "if it's just you, me, and Snow, they might stay and play, give us a chance to take one by surprise. These two can stay here and watch Hook. Rumplestiltskin will keep Regina from running off while Regina," he pointed at her, "can keep Rumplestiltskin from killing Hook."

"He is my son and I _will_ fight for him!" Regina slapped David's hand away.

Emma turned to her suddenly. "I know," she said quietly.

"You…" Regina paused, gathering her self-control. She quieted down; as if this acknowledgement was something she had been needing for a long time. "Good."

"You want to prove yourself to him, I get it," Emma said earnestly, "but you have to do that by being smart. You have to stay back and let us work our strategy. You both have to," she glanced at Rumplestiltskin. The mysterious, mutual respect they seemed to share appeared to work on him too. He just watched her. "Sit quiet, obey orders, and don't kill Hook." Emma picked up Hook's pack and looped it over her shoulder. "Just those three things." She glanced between the two sorcerer's eyes, searching for their agreement. Nothing verbal came, but she seemed to be satisfied. "We'll be back."

As the Charmings broke a path through the jungle and the cracking, rustling sounds grew fainter and fainter, Regina and Rumple widened the clearing made by Hook's collapse with some simple waves of their hands, pushing back bracken and dead leaves until they had a wide, flat space. Rumplestiltskin lifted his cane above the ground as he kicked a few stray sticks away; the man really didn't even need it anymore. Hook wondered why on earth he would cling to it, why he would want to ever be reminded of the mortal cripple he'd once been.

His eyes must have been rolling madly in his head as he glanced warily between the two sorcerers. Panicking while you were paralyzed must have been the most uncomfortable thing he'd ever experienced, and that was saying a lot. Rumplestiltskin, he knew, was the one he had to worry about. The Crocodile would kill him without a second thought. But Regina was also a threat…after all, hadn't Hook betrayed her majesty in the caves? Just before she'd betrayed him back, of course, but the niceties of allocating guilt probably didn't appeal to Regina.

The queen, meanwhile, stared moodily off into the jungle a moment as the Dark One found a seat on a stump that wasn't rotten. Then Regina, for some reason, saw fit to confide in Rumplestiltskin. She sounded like she was just complaining, but there was a hidden, deeper layer to her words, something vulnerable and curious, something that needed answers and hoped to find them in the old wizard. "If those two idiots' plan doesn't work, then there's only one other way we can do this."

"Agreed," Rumplestiltskin conceded dryly, staring at a point directly over Hook's head and making him very, very uncomfortable. To make matters better, Hook felt himself slowly, smoothly sliding down until he was flat on his back, staring up at the heavens like some abandoned straw-doll.

Regina turned and strode across the little clear space in her high-heeled boots. She was truly alone on the island, with no one to talk to. Rumplestiltskin was the closest thing she'd ever get to someone who actually understood her. Life did love its cruel irony. A deeper pain spilled out of her. "I am just as much Henry's mother as Emma is…more so, in fact! It should be me out there right now, not her. She's just as keyed up as I am! Had to be held back from jumping into a portal!"

Rumplestiltskin finally looked away from Hook and snorted derisively, gesturing with one hand as Regina's passionate rage floated over him in harmless waves. "Yes, but she's not a Queen used to having her own way or else shooting a fireball up someone's…"

The stiff snap of a twig cracked in the distance, echoing towards them. The air seemed to grow colder as both magicians stood up, suddenly alert, suddenly dangerous. Magic seemed to vibrate through the earth and gather around them, warm and electric.

"Hook…" Regina asked, without looking away from the jungle, "What kind of creature could that be?"

A sort of mumbled moan passed Hook's lips. He sounded cautious, but not exactly worried. Regina turned sharply towards him and then remembered exactly why he was lying in a silent heap on the ground. "Fat lot of good you are," she snarled.

She looked out again at the possible danger and, itching for a fight, smirked, "I'll go on a scouting expedition and bring home the bacon…" she lifted up her glowing fingers, twiddling the flames carelessly as she smiled at Rumplestiltskin, "if it's edible."

"Careful, dearie," Rumplestiltskin's eyes were empty of the maniacal sparkle Hook had come to associate with those words, "magic is far more unpredictable here…but the price is still the same."

At those last words, Regina's face darkened, her beautiful mouth pulling into a snarl of hatred. "I'm not your apprentice anymore, _Dark One_."

All Rumplestiltskin could do in reply was to smirk back, as if her words didn't affect him at all…on the contrary, they made him laugh. Regina, however, merely turned and stalked off into the woods.

Wait. Wasn't Regina supposed to protect him from Rumplestiltskin?

Bloody hell.

Despite Hook's misgivings, silence prevailed in the little spot after Regina left. Rumplestiltskin had moved out of his view, standing stock-still near the borders of the jungle, doing who knew what.

Some distance away, Hook could hear the steady, powerful sound of the sea crashing against the shores of Neverland. It brought back memories…memories of when he first came here, nursing his vengeance, trying to bury his broken heart…he remembered how the Crocodile wounded him, how much it hurt to open his eyes every morning…and how very, very beautiful Milah had been.

Suddenly, a foot crunched heavily into the leaves by Hook's ear. His blue eyes strained to the side and he saw Rumplestiltskin standing over him, looking down like a child who'd caught the bogeyman under his bed and discovered it was full of cogs and wheels.

Except the Dark One looked far less friendly. His brown, almond shaped eyes stared down at him, slit with hatred like a snake's, a not-quite snarl pulling at his thin lips. Rumplestiltskin stared down at him for a full minute…then walked away.

A second later, he was back. He poked Hook in the stomach with his cane, _hard_. "You," the first words Rumplestiltskin had spoken directly to him since their journey began came through grit teeth, hissing with barely controlled rage, "You hurt…_Belle_."

Terror fueled Hook's belabored voice. As air whistled through his throat, the pirate allowed words to be carried along with it. Painful, raw words. "You…killed Milah."

The cane _thunked_ into the earth by his head, showering him with leaves and bits of dislodged earth. Hook could only blink. "Thanks, I know," Rumplestiltskin snarled. He gazed down on him a moment with barely concealed hatred before, to Hook's rapidly growing concern, he lowered himself down to sit by the pirate's head.

Fully aware of the terror he was causing and enjoying every moment of it, the Dark One took his time before he began to speak, running his fingers along the golden handle of his cane, staring at it as he spoke. "Now listen, sunshine, cause I'm only gonna say this once. I'm glad you've finally stopped your vengeance thing."

A disbelieving, bitterly amused snort made its way out of Hook's throat. Rumplestiltskin raised a warning finger, "_Not_ because I'm afraid. If you want to kill yourself, you're welcome to keep coming at me. Cause you know what?" He leaned over and sneered down at Hook, "the one person you hurt more than anyone else…is _you_. Three hundred years, you sat on this little island and plotted vengeance…and who were you hurting? Who was aging ten years to a day, your heart one big mess of pain and loss and you thought to heal it by smothering it with _hatred_?!"

Hook's fingers twitched, his blue eyes burning. Something in the Crocodile's words resurrected those days inside him, dark days when he'd been more beast then man, holding no one's life as valuable, caring about nothing except the Dark One and how to kill him.

Rumplestiltskin noticed. He smiled. "You feel like that, pirate? You still hate me? I don't care what happens to you. I don't even care what happens to _me_ now. You couldn't kill me if you tried…" As if to prove the Imp's point, Hook's fist, growing stronger by the minute, suddenly swung feebly at him. The Dark One easily deflected it and gave a mocking little laugh. "But if you keep trying, you'll destroy what little happiness you have left in life."

He shifted up onto his knees and bent down until their faces were almost touching, dominating the helpless man with his shadow, burning his face with his hot breath. "I don't know how it was between you two when you first…_met_…" Bitterness crept into his voice, a faint echo of jealousy, "But answer me this. Would she even _recognize_ you, now?"

A gloved finger dug into Hook's bare chest. "Oh yes, and if you breathe a word of this little…chat, or come _near_ Belle again, I won't kill you. I'll just make you _wish_ I had."

The Dark One held his breath a moment as he pulled himself up and began walking away. He thought he'd perhaps find Regina and check up on her. Hook could take his chances with the nature of Neverland for ten minutes or so. It wasn't like Rumplestiltskin couldn't rescue him if he did fall into danger.

But as he went far enough to touch the first tree trunk in the jungle with his hand, Hook's garbled voice stopped him. "That's…not fair."

Nonchalantly, Rumplestiltskin turned. He saw Hook's head twitching feebly, his stubbled chin working, hands clenching. Every movement was sharp and jerky, like a marionette on a child's string. The pirate's system was throwing off the poison. He was trying to get up. But his blue eyes burned feverishly at the Dark One. "You…killed my True Love! And you think I'd…stop my quest? Just for my own _comfort_?!"

Rumplestiltskin rested both his hands on his cane, staring down thoughtfully at the ground. It was obvious he was listening, but he seemed strangely quiet for the confrontation Hook was throwing at him. The pirate prayed his voice would stop breaking as he ground out, "I have…_nothing_ left. Nothing but revenge. I have…" There. It broke. "_Have_ to hate. You know that."

The long, sensitive, strong thumb ran back and forth a moment along the gold engravings. Rumplestiltskin still didn't quite meet his eyes. "When I met you…both, on that ridiculous ship…I thought the same thing. I'd just lost someone dear to me, someone I would end up spending the rest of my life to find again. I had nothing left but that. Then…Belle came to me."

It wasn't a sudden confession or a mind-blowing revelation. There was no change between them. Hook knew that Belle, for some god-forsaken reason, was the Crocodile's True Love. Just as he knew she was too beautiful, too pure for either man to touch.

Suddenly, Rumplestiltskin flashed a feral grin at Hook, raising his hand in a dismissive gesture as he began turning towards the jungle again. "Keep trying, jolly jack…you'll find something to live for."

But more strength was slowly flowing into the pirate's arms. If he could just stall the Dark One, keep him here a little longer… "You lost someone?" He licked his dry lips and feebly struggled to a sitting position, "What, like Baelfire?"

The reaction was better than he could have anticipated. Faster than an arrow, Rumplestiltskin's cane was at his throat, crushing his Adam's apple. "How? HOW?! How did you know I _lost_ him?!"

Dimly, through the pain and suffocation, Hook realized with grudging admiration that Rumplestiltskin's first and only concern was how Hook knew Bae was lost, rather than the fact that he knew Bae's name. Say what you liked about him, the man's mind was quick. "He could steer your ship," Rumplestiltskin said softly to himself, supplying answers that Hook wasn't giving, "He came…_here_?!"

Then, Hook saw something in his face, something familiar and terrible and heartbreaking. "You…you came here too? And you _missed_ him?" The pirate burst into short, raw laughter. He had to laugh…he had no heart. He was black and cold and bloodthirsty. He couldn't show human sympathy, not to _this_ man…he had to laugh, even if it meant getting his face bashed in.

Instead, the pressure lifted from his chest. Rumplestiltskin slumped away from him and then clumsily struggled to stand, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Bowed over as if with the weight of hundreds of years, he limped off until he disappeared behind the trees. Hook had only caught one glimpse of his face…and it was awful.

The pirate sat up straight and called after the coward as he ran away, even as something brittle and hard in his heart seemed to break and shatter, piercing his stomach with the shards. His voice was raw, as if he'd been crying. "I told him, Crocodile! I told him all about Milah! He knows what you did! He called you a _coward_!" The last word was almost a scream as he felt his heart crumple under the emotion of Milah's name, _loss_, Baelfire's name, _regret_.

"Did you hear me, Crocodile?! Aren't you gonna come back? Don't you want to kill me now? What are you waiting for?! I'm on my back, literally, helpless…come _on_! Come on, Crocodile…" He realized his voice had trailed off and he was just mumbling in a sad, frantic sort of way.

And he realized…something in him _wanted_ Rumplestiltskin to have found Bae, something in him was _sorry_ he'd missed him, missed him in that one last chance to have him back as a boy once more, to start from where they'd ended. Part of him, damn the thing to the seven hells, felt _sorry_ for _Rumplestiltskin_.

He felt sick. He quickly rolled over and emptied his insides, trying not to sob Milah's name aloud and beg her forgiveness.

It seemed little less than an hour before Regina came back. Her majesty was covered in vegetable matter and crawling insects and she was blood-red furious. By that time, Hook had recovered enough, both physically and emotionally, to scamper to the edge of camp and away from her.

As he trod heavily past the first few trees, he saw a glimpse of black cloth ahead. Then, with a wary start of alarm, he saw Rumplestiltskin. But no threatening magic flowed from the Imp. He was leaning his arm on a tree, his forehead on his arm, as if he was bloody well _talking_ to the tree and asking it, asking the whole of Neverland, _did you see my son? Did you see my Baelfire, hear his voice, feel the touch of his hand? Did you catch his tears, did you hear his laughter? Did you see him grow up…did he say goodbye?" _

And Hook remembered, remembered asking the murmuring waves and the twinkling stars and the roaring wind at sea…_have you seen my Da? Is he happy, is he well? Does he have another little boy, a cabin boy? Is he captain now, like he always wanted? Does he ever think of Ma…does he ever…ever think of __**me**__?_

A huge, painful lump swelled in his throat and Hook couldn't swallow it. Instead, he sat down heavily on a tree trunk, digging his knuckles into his eyes, trying to forget, just for one blessed moment, the woman he loved so dearly, the boy he wronged so badly, and the man he never hated more or felt closer to than now.

* * *

Hook closed his eyes tightly, trying to work his mind past the constant crying in his ears. Children crying. That horrible, horrible sound he'd heard a thousand times, every night in Neverland, or muffled in his blankets when he was a boy.

Emma could hear it too. He could see it in her eyes. She was staring fixedly at the fire with an expression that was meant to be strong but, in reality, was so, _so_ fragile. One careless word or emotional touch could have broken it. Poor lass, poor little lost girl.

The Charmings and Regina couldn't hear a thing, but Emma had told them all about the horrible, echoing sound that wouldn't let her sleep. Her parents were staying vigil beside her, trying to distract her, while Regina was staring out into the jungle, worrying about Henry.

Rumplestiltskin, meanwhile, was also up and about. Hook couldn't remember having ever seen the man sleep. His hand was clenched tightly on his cane as he stared straight ahead. Suddenly, he stood up and paced a few steps towards the woods, hesitated, then came back.

To Hook's shock, the Dark One seemed…nervous? Then again, there was that familiar look in his face, that strange, oh-so-_wrong_ look that sometimes made Hook feel an abnormal kinship with him. It was no different now. Hook's eyes widened as he pointed at Rumplestiltskin in sudden realization. "You…you can hear it?"

The instant Rumplestiltskin snarled defensively back at him, he knew he was right. "You think you're the only one here with _Daddy_ issues?!" Agitated, the Dark One swung around and strolled to the other side of the camp before stopping, his face turning blank as he stared out again into the jungle. When he next spoke, his voice was soft and tired. "I remember hearing this the last time I visited here…it's why I left."

"What, the children crying?" Hook couldn't help taking a jab at the man, the man who'd abandoned Bae and killed Milah with such heartless ease, "_You're_ sensitive to children crying?"

"I _know_ where you're sensitive, Hook," Rumple wheeled around sharply and lifted up his cane, his shadow dark and black in the firelight as it lay along the ground, "don't tempt me. No, actually, please do."

Hook was ready for it. He was ready to beat the Imp's blood into the ground and drown out the crying in his ears. He took an eager step forward.

"Don't even think about it!"

Emma's voice, raw with pain, stunned them both. It was breaking, like she was about to cry. Emma never cried. If she did, it would scare them all. Emma was the strong one, their leader, the savior…she wasn't supposed to break. And anything that made Emma break must have been the worst pain she'd ever felt.

Ashamed, cowed, Rumplestiltskin and Hook backed away from each other. Lowering his cane, the Dark One sat down again. Hook retreated to lean against his tree. Everyone was quiet, all of them watching Emma and Emma's face as she stared into the fire.

And some of them, at least, Hook and Rumplestiltskin, listed to the lost children crying as they watched the lost girl cry, eyes unblinking, frozen, tears streaming down her face as Snow and Charming surrounded her with their protective warmth.

And, for a moment, the three villains, Regina, Hook, and Rumplestiltskin, looked upon a kind of family they'd never known.

* * *

It was almost morning. The crying had faded away a little as the first hints of pink dawn glowed beyond the horizon. As Hook kicked the ashes over the fire, he saw Regina turn and stride off into the woods without saying anything to anybody.

Last time she'd done that, they'd had a bad tempered, homicidal vixen on their hands, beautiful in her rage but terrible at controlling it. He decided to follow her and see if he could guide her back to the others before something happened.

As he pushed through the bushes and creepers, dragging his boots out of the vines that tangled along the forest floor in wicked snarls, he saw her standing some distance away, staring up at the rising colors in the sky and looking very much alone.

He was glad the cracking foliage made his approach obvious; wouldn't want a fireball in the face, would he? As he came to stand beside her, Regina rubbed her arms a little as she glanced at him with disdain. "Don't so much as lay your claw on me or I'll rip you inside out."

Hook lifted his bereft arm and wriggled it. "Hook," he corrected her, "what's wrong, love? Don't trust me?"

"After the bracelet?" Regina laughed harshly, "Should I?"

Hook shrugged. As Regina turned her fiery brown eyes back towards the horizon, he rubbed his thumb across the silver curve of his hook, watching it shine dully. He remembered how many sleepless nights he'd spent polishing that tool, that gift from the Crocodile. He'd lifted it from the deck of his ship and vowed to plunge it once more into Rumplestiltskin's chest except that, then, it would be fatal.

"Why do you hate the Dark One so much?" Regina startled him with her sudden question, "What exactly happened between you two?" Neverland seemed to have a way of opening wounds, of exposing the bruises of your heart. It was mostly idle curiosity on the queen's part, but there was something else there, a childish urge to understand his quest for vengeance in the vague hopes that she could better understand herself. She wouldn't mock him.

"Oh, old story. He killed someone I loved."

Regina should have looked bored. After all, she'd killed hundreds of people. Only she wasn't. Her face lost some of that bitter cynicism she was so famous for. Crossing her arms, she actually turned her head towards him, asking for more. Hook looked away from her, staring at the sky as it grew brighter. "The woman I loved, to be exact. He…tore her heart out. Then he…crushed it, right in front of me."

Regina's face had gone blank. Her brown eyes stared at him.

Hook didn't notice. "I suppose…I mean, I assume you have no idea what that's like…"

"I do."

His eyes flew to hers. Something raw and wet shone in her eyes. The scar above her lips seemed to be enflamed. "My mother killed the man I loved…she tore his heart out and crushed it into dust, let it trickle out between her fingers." She looked out again, away from Hook. Her voice changed to a whisper, not trusting herself to stay strong. "She mocked me."

_Mocked me. Dust. Killed. My love. _Hook suddenly felt like he knew all about Regina, like he had known all about her for as long as he could remember. Every part of her seemed familiar to him, simply because the same terrible pain had shaped them both. He stepped closer; he couldn't help himself. "What was his name?"

She looked at him again. Her eyes were wet, but she wasn't ashamed to show it. "Daniel."

Hook took a deep breath. "Milah."

She gazed at him a moment, something in her eyes changing. Then a bitter smile pulled up one side of her mouth. She touched her chest. "Ever since that day…I've felt nothing but pain here. It feels…it feels like…"

"Like they pulled your heart out too," Hook said quietly.

"And those idiots think I'll just give up all my rights to Henry…" she snarled fiercely, using hatred to push away the weakness, "what's left for me, besides me son?"

Hook looked down at the ground. He felt like he was talking to all the fear, hurt, and anger that had possessed him for centuries. And even now, he gave it the same answer. "I don't know."

* * *

"Hook!" Emma cried, crashing through the trees and stumbling into the campsite, startling everyone else as they packed up their things to continue their journey. The pirate looked up at her as she called. It didn't take an idiot to tell when something bad had happened. The savior's eyes were wide and vulnerable and even scared. "The mermaids…they took David!"

"What?!" Snow dropped her bag.

Hook leapt to his feet instantly. "How?! How!" He snapped, taking off through the woods as the others followed him.

"He was getting water…they just came out and grabbed him as he was filling the canteens."

"I told the bloody idiot…not the lagoon! I told him!" Hook growled beneath his breath. Useless royal, princely, full-of-himself…if Hook knew anything about Charming, then the King had probably risked the lagoon just for the sake of disobeying the pirate's endless rules and regulations. You know, the kind an experienced captain puts together so he actually _has_ a crew after an expedition?

Charming didn't have to be his mate, but that didn't mean he had to be an idiot either.

The lagoon was a soft, dark blue, murmuring and shadowy even under the morning sunlight. Kelp and seaweed broke the reflecting colors, making it look like a murky rainbow beneath the surface of the water.

As the others came stumbling out behind him, Hook spread his arms out. "Careful! Don't touch the water, any of you!"

Snow kept going forward, as if the woman had a mind to dive in and swim until she found her sweetheart. Hook grabbed her arm, hard. "That's an _order_!"

Startled, Snow turned to him. Her green eyes, however, were more full of worry and terror rather than inured pride. Hook pushed her gently towards Emma. "They'll feel the ripples before you've even dived, love."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rumplestiltskin limp hurriedly with his cane right towards the water's edge. Hook turned, wondering what on earth the Crocodile was planning on doing. He took a step back, prepared to witness one of the Dark One's powerful displays of magic.

To his shock and disbelief, however, Rumplestiltskin floundered clumsily into the water, opened his mouth wide to get a good breath…and then dove or rather _fell_ right in with a huge splash.

There was a stunned silence.

Emma was the one to break it. "Did he…?" she pointed helplessly.

Hook didn't answer. He stepped forward, staring down at the murky, rippling water. He knew that, whatever the Dark One was planning, it was a stupid move. He must have been trying to bargain with the mermaids, surprising them and gaining their confidence by voluntarily entering their world. But water was an effective dampener for any magic, especially when you're using most of it to hold your breath in and all your senses are protectively tightening against the newness of being crushed under several feet of warm, wet water. Not to mention the violent mermaids who may or may not want to slit an older, unattractive man from navel to neck.

And yet, miracle of miracles, the water began bubbling. Frothing, swelling away as a head broke the surface with a roar. It was David. Gasping, wide eyed and staring, he started kicking his way towards them.

"Charming!" Snow cried, rushing forward and holding out her hand, willing it to meet his, willing it to somehow bring him to her. The smile on her face was beautiful to see.

Emma and Regina followed her. "Where's Gold?" Emma called. Smart girl, keeping her head in a situation like this and remembering to look out for every member of the party, even if it was that devil-Imp.

No answer was needed, however, since Hook saw thrashing limbs with wet, black-gloved hands and a graying head struggling in the very calm, very still water. David was just managing to keep Rumplestiltskin's head above the surface as he paddled towards them. What was the wizard playing at? Was he injured? Possessed? Or…was it possible…he couldn't swim?

The two reached the shallows even as Hook reached this impossibly human conclusion. David dropped Rumplestiltskin and stood up, but didn't quite meet any of their eyes.

Snow cupped his face in her hands, quickly stroking back his wet hair. "Charming? What did they do to you?"

David's blue eyes stared off in the distance, over her head. "They…they kissed me."

Hook gave David's face a good look. The lips were red and wide apart, his breath slipping out between them in a feverish wisp of steam. Mermaid's Kiss…he'd recover in a few minutes.

There was a resounding _slap_ as Snow's hand met David's cheek. "You weren't even _cursed_!" She hissed, outraged.

_Maybe less than a few minutes_, Hook smirked at the married couple as they descended into bickering.

Rumplestiltskin was still crawling in the water, reaching for his cane, trying to grab it before it floated away. Without making a fuss, Emma took it and handed the end to him. Barely whispering his thanks, he dug it into the wet sand and slowly, painfully, lifted himself up.

So, that had been his amazing plan? To just sink and let the mermaids come to him, somehow get them to release the prince, and then somehow make their way out again? Bloody idiot.

Rumplestiltskin slowly waved his hand over his suit. It started to dry, the droplets running down his clothes into the sand. But the process seemed slow, and his hand trembled ever so slightly. Having just been exhausted, almost killed, and, Hook took great pleasure in realizing, terrified, the Imp was finding it difficult to summon his magic.

Emma noticed too. "Let's start a fire. Get you two warmed up."

Later, as the orange and red tongues of flame danced upon a little pile of crackling tinder, Hook stood and watched Snow fuss over David while Regina pace impatiently back and forth just behind them. Emma, meanwhile, sneakily made her way over to Rumplestiltskin. The Dark One was standing, stiff and aloof, for some reason refusing to take advantage of the warmth every cell in his body was craving.

Hook couldn't help overhearing Emma as she thanked the man and asked him why he saved her Dad.

He expected the Crocodile to shrug it off, pretend it was nothing. That's what you're supposed to do when you suddenly find yourself doing a good deed, for _once_. Hook had a lot of experience in such matters. Rumplestiltskin's answer, however, surprised him.

"Henry needs a grandfather." The wizard's dark eyes were almost impossible to see into as he stared down at the fire. His face was sharply chiseled by the shadows of the trees, broken by sunlight, grim with exhaustion and dark foreboding.

Emma's arms were crossed as she leaned sideways to get a better look at this curious man. "But you're his grandfather too," she said reasonably.

Rumplestiltskin graced her with a nasty smile. After a moment, however, it melted away and he huffed bitterly, glancing around as life reentered his face, making him look human again. "For how much longer?" he said cryptically.

What could Emma say to that? She just shrugged unhappily and moved back to her seat. Hook narrowed his eyes as Rumplestiltskin slowly moved towards a stump that was closer to the flames. It was on the opposite side of their fire, but next to their fire, nonetheless.

* * *

A few days later, Hook knelt upon the sand, staring down at the chart Pan had drawn for them. His own tempting little brand of mockery, really. A hopeful game, a chance to win…but really no chance at all, once you'd reached the end of your road. Just empty echoes and no Henry.

A shadow fell over the map. He looked up, feeling that familiar dark presence pool against his skin, making the hairs on his neck stand up with hatred and revulsion.

"Hook," it was Rumplestiltskin. He gestured with his hand, pointing at something a few steps down the beach. Malice was simmering in his dark eyes. "Follow me."

"What for?" Hook was in the mood to be insolent and stubborn. In fact, there were no other feelings he'd rather react with when receiving an order from the Dark One.

Rumplestiltskin gave him a look. "_Please_," his mouth stretched into a thin, cold smile that was full of teeth like a Cheshire cat's. The smile said that he could easily split Hook's body in two with a single wrong thought and he was only saying 'please' to remind him of it.

Which was probably true. Grudgingly, Hook got up, dusted the sand off his leather breeches, and followed the Dark One towards the forest edge.

Somewhere along that line, a huge old tree jutted out onto the beach, dead roots struggling for life in the sand, thick, living ones eating from the fresh earth behind it. Hook recognized it instantly. He recognized it from the way the sun fell behind it. He recognized it by the markings in the bark. He'd visited it many, many times in the two hundred years or so he spent in Neverland.

He knew it because he'd carved her name into it, _Milah_, over and over. Knife rivets of pain ran down the wood, punctuated by bleeding sap that had dried into brown tears. He'd wounded the tree in his agony, mutilated it with his loss and regret. He'd thrown the knife into the sea because, even as he splintered his hand and chopped through the bark, he could still feel her hand on his, the supple weight of her body as they swung together, suspended over the side of the Jolly Roger.

They'd carved their names together on the prow, laughing as the cold sea spray hit their faces.

Somehow, he realized Rumplestiltskin was talking to him. The Crocodile's voice was thin, full of cold rage. "When did you do this? When did you scrawl the name of the woman you _stole_…?"

"I DIDN'T STEAL HER!"

Hook's roar silenced the Dark One. The pirate was staring at him with wide, electric blue eyes, panting, his voice raw and breaking from whatever sorrow heaved in his chest. Rumplestiltskin stared back, fascinated, almost…_hungry_. Maybe it was because he saw the same desperation, the same hurt and helplessness and hopelessness that Hook had seen in the poor spinner's face when he took Milah away. Seen it…and hadn't cared.

Hook took an impulsive step forward, heedless of danger. He didn't care about being beaten, or killed. Never had cared. He'd only cared about Milah. "You can't _steal_ someone! You didn't _own_ her! I _loved_ her!"

Rumplestiltskin's mouth drew up in a snarl, his hand tight around his forgotten cane as he took his own step forward, pushing his face into the pirate's although the man was nearly a head taller than him. "I loved her too!" His brown eyes were on fire, his voice shaking with rage he didn't even know how to express. "Filthy _pirate_!"

"Yeah?" Hook reached forward and suddenly grabbed the Dark One's hand. Almost too angry to notice, Rumplestiltskin yanked it away. Undeterred, Hook barreled on, grabbing for it again, latching onto his wrist. "And what did you do?" He wrenched the hand, holding it between them even as Rumplestiltskin fought to regain control of it. "Tell me, tell me what you held in that hand…" his voice, already thick with tears, suddenly broke at the memory, "what you _crushed_."

Rumplestiltskin's eyelids fluttered a moment, as if the word was too strong to bear hearing. His arm ceased fighting. Hook dropped his hand and the Dark One stepped back. When he spoke, his voice was very, very different. It was tight with pain, husky, human…much like the coward's had been, all those years ago. "She…she broke her promise. She said she loved me…she _lied_." He stared at Hook and the pirate saw, through his tears, something suspiciously like _grief_ in the Dark One's eyes. "She said she loved our son, and she _lied_."

Rumplestiltskin broke off. He turned as if to go, to run. He hesitated. Then, suddenly, he looked at Hook with dark, broken eyes, eyes that mirrored every pain Hook had ever felt…it was all there, the story of his life written in another man's face.

"Do you know abandonment, Captain?" Rumplestiltskin's voice had turned acidic, bitter, lashing out at everyone even as his eyes grew wet with tears he would never let fall. "Your family, your loved ones…imagine they'd been there for you all your life. Your entire world. You loved them, struggled and fought for them, tried to be the best you could be for them…and then, just like that, they aren't there anymore. And you look up through your tears, and the wave hits you, shoving you down, grinding you into the dirt…burying you. And they aren't there to catch you anymore. Never will be. Never wanted you…never _loved_ you."

_Abandonment_._ Never wanted you._ Hook stared at Rumplestiltskin, unable to do anything but hear those words over and over in his head; the echoes of a past he'd tried so hard to forget. _Never __**loved**__ you._

He felt the old poison creeping through his soul. Rumplestiltskin paused and took a deep shuddering breath, pushing his fist against his mouth. When he began again, he'd regained control of himself, regained control of his power. Gold flecks swam in his brown eyes as he smiled mockingly at Hook. "Tell him the truth, you said? Tell him that, not only was his mother gone but the only person he had left, his father, was a crippled coward who couldn't even have saved her if he'd tried?" He laughed shortly. "How could I?"

With one of the sudden mood changes he'd once been famous for, the Dark One snarled, "It doesn't matter that it was true, that I was a coward. I couldn't do that to _him_…not to Bae."

But, Hook reflected, it didn't matter that they shared the same pain, really. Didn't matter that they'd loved the same child, the same woman, that they'd both had rotten fathers, or whatever Rumplestiltskin's past held.

He killed Milah. Beautiful, bright eyed Milah, wonderful, strong, fiery Milah. The reason it was so hard just to keep on breathing now, so hard for his blackened, ashy heart to keep on beating and living. Rumplestiltskin had mutilated him, destroyed his soul for the sake of _revenge_.

There was no reason Hook couldn't do the same. He smirked at the Dark One, "but you left him." His blue eyes burned with a terrible mirth. "You abandoned your son, Dark One! He found out you were a coward and, not only that, a liar! He might have left my ship hating me, but he hated _you_ most of all!"

The cane cracked into his shoulder, slamming him against the tree. It came at him again and Hook caught it, using his other arm and leg to shove Rumplestiltskin to the ground. He threw himself on the Dark One, not even trying to get at his throat. Just throwing punch after punch, fueled by his long-suffering pain and festering loss.

Rumplestiltskin fought like a wildcat, not even taking advantage of his powers as he used the cane to defend himself and caught Hook on the side of the head, twisting it until it almost _snapped_ against Hook's side.

For a moment, there was nothing but blood rage, nothing but the silent panting and the thumping cracks of fist against nose, and ribs, and face and everything in arm's length as they blindly battered each other, longing to grind the enemy apart into a thousand shards that would be washed out by the ocean and never seen again by human beings.

Suddenly, Hook felt a wave of magic scooped him up and throw him through the air. A tree crashed into his back and he slid to the ground with a whimper of pain. Leaves showered down on his bruised, bleeding body.

Rumplestiltskin staggered up, barely pausing to wipe the blood off his mouth before he lunged at Hook, purple magic wreathing around his hand to form a dagger. He was going to kill him…Hook could see it in the black orbs that had once been human eyes, the feral snarl that had once been a human grin.

As the Dark One stood over him, he spat out sand and quickly said, hurting the wizard in the only way he still could, "So your son was right. Liar, coward, killer…" he grunted, shifting to a more defiant position, "I only hope Belle finds out before it's too late."

A pause. Then, to his cold terror, the Dark One simply _smiled_. "It doesn't matter…I'm never gonna see her again."

"No, but if they allow visitors in hell…" Hook really had no time to dwell on that last comment, "you're gonna meet _Bae_."

The magic shuddered out of existence. As Hook watched, the Dark One's eyes changed, getting lighter and clearer until they were once more the warm, brown color in the guarded, pitiless face of Mr. Gold, the pawnbroker.

Rumplestiltskin shook his head slowly, planting his boot by Hook's side as he leaned over him. "Stop pushing me, pirate…" his hot breath sprayed Hook's cheek as he snarled at him, "or someday, not even the name of my son will protect you."

Hook snapped back, "Fine. We had a deal. But I don't ever want to hear Milah's name coming out of your face again. She may have been your wife but she was my True Love, whom you murdered right in front of me!"

Rumplestiltskin didn't even acknowledge him. He turned and began limping off; presumably back towards the Charmings' camp. Hook dug his hook into the tree and hauled himself up. "Don't walk away from me, Crocodile!"

Rumplestiltskin paused.

Hook wrestled with his next words, trying to keep his emotions in control, trying to let nothing out but hatred and reproach. "You…you told me I should let go of revenge, find something else. Well, here's a question…you killed her. Right in front of me." His voice dripped in contempt, "Do you really think I'll ever get over it?"

The Dark One spared him a glance. "No," he said shortly, "you never will. You'll never forget, never stop feeling the pain, even after hundreds of years. Only one thing's left, the one good thing I know. When you do something wrong…you make it right."

He spoke as if from experience. It was probably why he'd searched for Bae for three hundred years, why he was even in Neverland at all, searching for the grandson he might or might not even love. Even as Hook mused on this, Rumplestiltskin began walking away once more.

"Wait!" Hook's fists clenched. As he cried out his voice broke, the way it did when he called for his Da in the ship…and for the first time, his Da never answered. "You tried to make it right for your son…what about Milah? How are you making it right to her?"

Rumplestiltskin's hands rested on his cane. He was very calm now, very collected. He smiled mockingly at Hook. "I let you live."

Even as bitter nausea roiled in his stomach, Hook wanted to laugh, hard enough to cry. "Live?! You call this a life?!"

"I owe you _nothing_," Rumplestiltskin spat, "not even hope." Yet, his face and voice softened, "But there is that, for you. You're young, you're free, you're no monster…just a man with a black, broken heart. Hearts can be fixed, they can glow red again. And Milah…" it was the first time Hook had heard Rumplestiltskin say her name since he killed her. The man halted and swallowed as if the word was a painful clot of blood in his throat. "Mourn her, miss her…but let her go. She's truly dead, captain. Nothing you ever do will bring her back, and the only way you can make her happy is by living and loving again."

Half a smile wandered weakly up his face. "Of course, you could always just keep chasing after revenge and then join me in hell. Bae can visit us together, then."

* * *

As Hook had predicted, the map was a failure and Pan had moved Henry once more. Therefore, Hook proposed to go and talk with his old friends, the Meeps, who knew pretty much every single thing that ever happened on the island. Of course, the Meep burrows were surrounded by the Pixie Woods, so Hook needed a guard if he was going to get through alive.

And of course Regina had entered into a magical trance with Tinkerbell's help, trying in her own way to find her son. Really, talking to the Meeps was easier. Emma and the Charmings elected to stay and guard her while she was helpless, so who did that leave to guard Hook?

Rumple-bloody-murdering-stiltskin.

As they made their way through the woods together in stiff, uncomfortable silence, Hook halted short, inches away from a tree. A tree that happened to have his face burned onto it, the black effigy scarred and mutilated by violent blasts of magic.

Rumplestiltskin paused to touch the tree, measuring the power of the beings who'd destroyed it but also fiercely enjoying their handiwork. He rubbed his fingers together, even as he glanced mischievously at Hook. "Far be it from me to be at all surprised that an entire magical race hates you but…why, exactly?"

Hook frowned, glowering at the forest as he turned and began forcing his way through the bushes. Since they both seemed to be baring their rotten hearts to each other recently, he saw no harm in confessing, "I treated one of them…very badly."

To his surprise, Rumplestiltskin didn't throw any laced barbs at him. Instead, he merely said in a cold tone of voice, "You should have killed her too…done Neverland a favor."

Hook turned back to get a good look at the magical wizard who hated magical sprites. "What do you have against fairies?" he asked, curious in spite of himself.

Rumplestiltskin gave him a withering glare. "What makes you think I'm gonna tell you?"

Hook smirked. "Well, it seems to me that all you've done since we got to Neverland is talk an awful lot about all sorts of things."

The Dark One lifted a threatening finger. "Things that had to be said, things I'll never have the chance to say again. I didn't want to…but I didn't want to disappoint… someone, more than I have to."

Hook smiled, "What, Belle? The librarian you've tricked into thinking you're a real man?" He leaned forward; barely breathing at his own daring, "tell me, what does she see in you? Have you even done…you know, _it_ together?"

He knew from the change in Rumplestiltskin's face that he'd gone too far. With a snarl, the Dark One shoved Hook backwards and planted his cane into the earth before his feet. With sharp, jerking motions, he sliced a circle through the earth and pointed at it. "I suggest, pirate, you get your sorry self inside and stay there. I'll return in a week or so, maybe…when the pixies have lost interest. Can you hear them coming?" He smiled, leaning his head sideways in a slightly insane way.

Hook's heart fell into his boots as he heard the dull droning of fairy wings. He lunged at Rumplestiltskin, but his frantic arms only swiped through purple smoke. "Coward!" He cried, cursing as he leapt inside the circle.

The pixies saw him there and shrieked in excitement, diving down like a rainbow swarm of bees, shooting little balls of magic that zinged through the air and hit the shield with all the force of an arrow. They burst in burning, fuzzy sparks that would have really _hurt_ if they'd actually managed to sink into human flesh.

Hook hugged himself, trying to keep every bit of his body inside the circle. "I hate you, Crocodile!" He cried to the air, feeling red-hot anger spread through his face and neck "you were always a coward and you haven't changed a bit! When I get out of here, I'm gonna gut you like a bleeding _fish_!" At the last word, all in a rage, he kicked up a cloud of earthy mulch from the forest floor.

One single, solitary leaf floated a moment in the air and then, with soft, wafting motions, gently came to rest over the little trench that formed the protective circle.

The shield sputtered and died with a hissing whimper.

All of a sudden, there was pain everywhere. The pixies realized he was unprotected and he saw them begin to glow red…meaning they were preparing lethal spells. Spells that would kill him. He turned and ran, dodging the trees, stumbling over every dip in the ground, tripping over every rock, always feeling the burning bolts of magic coming closer, and closer, and closer...

Until an invisible arm caught him around the waist. Purple smoke billowed into his face and he coughed, feeling the ground disappear and then reappear beneath his feet. But it all felt different. Even when the arm released him and he stumbled to his knees, it still felt different.

He stood up and turned to glare at Rumplestiltskin. "This changes nothing. You're still a devil who deserves to die."

"And you're an idiot who can't keep still inside a protection spell if your life depended on it, which, incidentally, it did."

"And what kind of stupid spell is broken by a dead leaf?"

"Well next time I'll freeze you into a block of ice, or a giant blob of jell-o. That should keep even _you_ quite immobile."

They glared at each other for several more long moments. Finally, Hook said, "You could have just left me out there. You could figure out how to sail my ship back through the portal after you've rescued Henry. No one at camp would be any wiser, nor, I think, willing to prosecute the Dark One for the sake of _my_ worthless hide." He was going to regret this question but he _had_ to ask, bloody hell. "So why. Why bother, after…Belle."

For a moment, Rumplestiltskin looked like he was going to swing his cane again as it sat lightly in his hand. Hook didn't flinch, however. The Dark One snarled, "I should kill you for that. I might still, but she'd blame herself, and I can't have that."

Silence. He mockingly poked Hook in the chest with his finger. The pirate slapped his hand away and Rumplestiltskin drew it up towards his chin, rubbing the fingers together thoughtfully. Then, he smiled. "Why? I told you…you can't die until you've begun to live. You died a long time ago, and I want you to have a chance to fix that."

"Why?!" Hook hissed, fists clenching, longing for nothing else but a chance to beat the Dark One's face into bloody pulp, to destroy and forget the strange mission the man seemed to have taken up.

Rumplestiltskin ignored him, throwing him a rude smile that was both cruel and mocking.

"Why!?" Hook roared, diving after him. Again, his arms met nothing but purple smoke.

* * *

Neither Hook nor Rumplestiltskin brought Milah up again, as they had agreed. But Hook still thought about it, about all the man had said, about revenge, about why he was fighting for revenge. For Milah.

One night, he realized he didn't even remember exactly how the fine line looked, the one that widened on Milah's chin when she laughed. Had it been that long? Opening his pack, he fished out her picture and gazed at it. Slowly, he ran his finger along the dark, raven hair, thick clouds of it, soft clouds he'd fingers so often in reality as they were blown about by the ocean winds.

He didn't feel the Dark One's eyes as they traveled thoughtfully up and down his back.

A few nights later, Hook found a second sheet of paper slipped in behind Milah's portrait. It was Baelfire. Baelfire as a boy, happy, proud, bright eyed with hope. Just like the other picture, it brought back happy memories and also horrible memories that were unbearably painful. Where did it come from? Who could have…?

He looked for Rumplestiltskin and saw him sitting by the fire, arguing with Emma over the proper way to approach Peter's Black Cavern.

In one sharp, sudden motion, he crumpled the fragile paper, fingers crushing it into the palm of his hand as he stood up and stalked over to them. Rumplestiltskin went quiet and gazed at him warily, unsure.

With another sharp, sweeping motion, Hook threw the paper into the fire. Nothing else signified it's passing except for a tiny white flare of heat and a crackling sigh.

Nobody even knew what had just happened, except that Rumplestiltskin and Hook were staring fixedly at each other and it had suddenly become almost impossible to breathe.

Hook was satisfied with the vulnerable, horrified look that flooded away even the rage in the spinner's face. Satisfied, yes, but it didn't make him feel one jot better. Not even the shields he could see clamping themselves into position, the quivering anger in Rumplestiltskin's face that shakily promised that there would be a reckoning.

Instead, as Rumplestiltskin seemed to fold in on himself and stare into the heart of the fire, unable to hide the utter misery seeping out of the shattered mask of his brown eyes, Hook somehow felt ten times _worse_.

As he turned and made his way back to his bed, he already wished with all his heart that he'd kept the picture, or even given it back to the old Crocodile.

* * *

This was it. Peter's plan had been revealed, Henry's fate along with it, and they hadn't even rescued him yet. Peter was going to rip out Henry's heart, the Heart of the Truest Believer. He was going to use it because he believed it would allow him to fly once more, to _believe_.

It was a foolish hope, Hook thought as their rag-tag band crouched outside Pan's Cavern, the foolish hope of a lost little boy. But the _danger_ was very real. And so was the apparent farewell speech Rumplestiltskin was making.

"Now, when I'm inside, I'll separate Pan from Henry. At the very instant when his fingers have penetrated Henry's chest…that's when he'll be weakest. Then I'll rip a portal into his own shadow world and throw him into it. You…" he pointed at Regina, "You have to be ready to catch Henry and get him outside."

"The rest of you," he said slowly, watching them carefully for their reactions, "hold off the Lost Boys at the mouth of the cave."

Emma nodded fiercely. "Okay. But _I_ am coming in with…"

"No, you're not." Rumplestiltskin cut Emma off smoothly, as if he'd been expecting this. "There will be enough magic in there already without your presence. It's Dark Magic, something Regina and I are proficient in. Henry will be protected from the blast by Regina's shielding."

Regina, of all people, seemed to notice something in the way he spoke. Her brow drew down. "And you?"

Rumplestiltskin seemed to mull over his words a minute, gazing down at the ground a while. Finally, he looked up. And Hook saw in his face a look he'd never there seen before. _Peace_.

"This is why I came," the Dark One almost whispered, almost smiled, "it's why I left Belle behind. I knew there was only one way to stop Pan…unfortunately, that way stops us both."

Shocked, stunned silence. They all stared at him. "All I ask, in return for our last deal together…no, not a deal," he said suddenly, licking his lips as if the word tasted bad. A light twinkled in his eyes as he glanced at Emma, "Let's call it a favor. If all goes according to plan, well, you've got your family back, so," he looked at Regina, again with that spark of joy in his face, "_please_, take care of mine. Belle…she's priceless. So is…_was_…my boy, so is yours," again, he looked at Emma. His face turned serious. "I thought they were worth breaking an entire world apart for. I was wrong about the application, but I was right about the value." The smile turned sad. "I'm a pawnbroker."

Snow was the only one to respond; full of the raw compassion she always seemed to have so much of. "Is…you're sure there's no other…"

"No." Rumplestiltskin's voice grew sharp and impatient.

And Hook, still trying to wrap his stunned brain around that speech, saw fear trembling in the coward's eyes. "This was your plan then, all along," his grim, dangerous tone caused everyone to look at him, "to escape."

Rumplestiltskin made no reply. He just watched him, watched for what he would do next.

"To escape, to die, to do one last good deed before the fiery gates swallow you…very poetic, very neat, _Crocodile_," Hook snarled bitterly, "_I'm_ the one with nothing left…I should do this!"

"Hook…" Emma tried, gently.

Rumplestiltskin was far ahead of her. His mouth drew back in a snarl, that familiar snarl they'd been tossing back and forth every day now since they arrived in Neverland, "Yes, with luck, Pan will have to chew on that leather a little bit before he spits you out." Rumplestiltskin colored every word with a mimed gesture, like a puppet on a stage. "No, it has to be me! _I_ have the power, I _know_ Pan, I failed my son…_not_ my grandson. It has to be me!"

"You think this'll make Bae happy?!" Hook stood up suddenly, shouting, forgetting that they were in a forest thick with Lost Boy patrols, "Suicide?!"

He looked at that strange, elfin face with the dusky brown eyes and all the evil and pain and horror that had created it. The Imp, the Murderer, the Man. The demon he'd chased for so long and shared so much with, about to take the easy way out he'd all but directly denied to Hook. The injustice of it, the lies, the idea of someone else escaping what _he_ suffered every day…it enraged Hook. He lunged at Rumplestiltskin, even as the man began to stand up.

But he wasn't fast enough. Rumplestiltskin's eyes flew to his, full of annoyance, apology…pity? Rumplestiltskin gazed at him, and the Dark One snapped his fingers.

Something in Hook's brain exploded. A black film spread over her eyes. Regina's voice crying, "What are you doing?!" was the last thing he heard as he hit the ground, and Rumplestiltskin's ancient, mysterious eyes were the last things he saw.

* * *

Hook woke up to the shouting of someone he slowly recognized as David. The prince had rather broad shoulders and they were digging into Hook's side as he dragged him at a frantic pace through the jungle. Behind and above them, the sky was exploding.

All of Pan's boyish yet immeasurably powerful magic swirled through the air like flies startled from a corpse, dispersing into the air, eating away the clouds. It streamed through a fissure in the mountain, hissing and screaming like steam from a kettle.

Anyone left inside should be dead.

Luckily, everyone was out and running. Except the one man who couldn't run, the one man nobody would have really thought twice about leaving inside. The man who held off the demon-shadow. Rumplestiltskin.

Suddenly, Hook dug his feet into the earth and tore away from Charming. He turned and pelted back towards the cave, yanking out of David's grip as the prince tried one last time to hold onto him.

Lost Boys were running everywhere, distraught, leaderless. Hook dodged by them and came to the cave entrance. He raced inside, but his eyes didn't need to adjust to the darkness. The hole punched into the mountain roof let plenty of light in.

The entire far wall and much of the floor was just a gaping black vortex, like a portal, except the only thing on the other side of that roaring, swirling darkness was _nothing_. It wasn't a tunnel to another world…it was a trapdoor into a living hell. And, apparently, Pan was inside it. Hook took an unwilling step forward, pulled by the awesome force from the abyss.

Suddenly, over the sound of the roaring wind, he heard a sharp clatter. Rumplestiltskin's cane came rolling along the ground, bumping against his boots before it touched the edge of the blackness and was instantly swallowed. Every bruise in Hook's abused body was glad to see it go. He looked to see where the thing had come from.

He saw Rumplestiltskin. The man was lying on his side on the ground, his suit in shreds, his skin burnt and bleeding. There were dark bruises under his eyes. All the magic he possessed had exploded from inside him, channeled in that last desperate effort to save Henry from Pan. His journey towards the mouth of the black pit had been halted by a huge stalagmite that withstood the blast. His limp body was pulled against the thing in just the right way, giving him those few precious minutes to live.

And he'd planned to fall into the shadow-hell in _this_ condition? Hook couldn't care less what happened to the man…he was letting go of Milah for _himself_, not Rumplestiltskin. He was going to forge a new life for _himself_, embracing all the sorrow and regret, letting it flow through him and onwards as it naturally would have, not trying to keep it with him by constantly torturing himself with revenge. He was surrendering to the idea that there was nothing he could have done, and nothing he could do, to bring her back. He had to live on.

And if he did, then by the gods, so did the demon who'd caused it all. Rumplestiltskin wasn't going to commit suicide, even if it was a rather noble suicide. He wasn't going to slide to his death down a black abyss, not if Hook had to go through every day without ever hearing Milah's singing again.

Wincing as the wind blasted into his face, Hook worked his way towards Rumplestiltskin, leaning away from the pull of the portal. He bent down and grabbed Rumplestiltskin under the arms, lifting him up. "You…_devil_…" he muttered angrily. As he tugged him back, he suddenly realized how thin and…_light_ Rumplestiltskin was, so very easy to carry as he dragged him back across the stones.

When the pull finally lessened enough to stand easy, Hook almost collapsed beside his archenemy and felt his neck, trying to detect signs of life. As he felt the little pulse beneath his fingertips, Rumplestiltskin's dark eyes fluttered open. Almost instantly, he groaned, his spirit trying to retreat from whatever agony he was suffering. "I didn't…_Hook_…" his words slurred together as he clawed feebly at Hook's arms, "What're you…_doing_?!"

"If I have to live a hell of a life than so do you, Crocodile," Hook said shortly, "you killed my love and abandoned your son, and you're going to live with that for the rest of your days, which I fervently hope are few." Just by the cave mouth, he stopped and propped Rumplestiltskin against a wall. This time, _he_ was the one doing the talking. This time, Rumplestiltskin had to listen.

He made sure the spinner was conscious enough to understand him, to meet his eyes as he spoke. "I've done many things I'm not proud of…" he hesitated, passing a nervous tongue along his dry lips before continuing, "and honestly, tricking you into thinking I'd kidnapped Milah and was doing gods know what to her…that's one of them."

Rumplestiltskin's eyes widened at him. Hook hurried on, "So is betraying Baelfire and hurting Belle and a hundred other things I'll never tell you. I'm sorry I ran away with Milah…" he smiled suddenly, "but not _really_ sorry, if you know what I mean."

Rumplestiltskin snarled and swiped a weak punch at him, the old fire coming back. Hook easily dodged the blow and just laughed, hoisting the Dark One up and pulling his arm over his shoulders as they limped out of the cave together.

As they came into the sunlight, Rumplestiltskin managed to push out, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't," Hook cut him off, cold and sharp as a cutlass blade, "you don't get to apologize for that. Ever. You can't say you're sorry, cause sorry isn't enough, as you well know."

They got to the forest. The Charmings rushed out to meet them, along with Henry, being torn apart between Emma and Regina. But when Regina saw Hook standing there, alive, a small smile crept up her face.

Hook smiled back, even as David came over to help with Rumplestiltskin, grinning proudly at them.

Still without looking at him, just before David came within earshot, Hook said, "You destroyed a part of me, Crocodile. We won't ever be friends. But I think…I think I understand you a little better now, and I'm ready to move on."

_And really,_ he thought as Regina casually asked him if he was alright before suddenly grabbing him and yanking him into a victory flushed, impulsive kiss, leaving everyone around them speechless, _he really was._

FINIS


End file.
